From Darkness to Light

Misery ! Your name is Marriage. They could very well sum up the broken-ness of my family life till the moment the Lord stooped to lift me from the pit of utter despiration.

I am Unnikrishanan Nair and my wife is Shantamma. My home town is Kanchiyar near Kattappana in Idukki district in Kerala state.

As a laborer in a liquor shop, I became a slave not only to alcoholism but to every other kind of vice as well. As the days went by I sank deeper and deeper into the mire of degradation.
Coming home fully drunk and picking up a quarrel with my wife was a daily routine. I would easily overlook my own defects and torture her as a slave. My two little children used to scamper for safety as soon as they glimpsed my shadow. So dead scared were they for me. Yet I was an honorable man to the world outside.

My intellect and mental health, in due course, were utterly ruined and I began to suspect my wife's fidelity. Not a day could I refrain from drinking. Fits of shivering would overpower me. One day, after a nasty quarrel, my wife with the two children, left for her father's house in Changanacherry.

This was too severe a blow for me. I dashed to her house, created a scene, registered a case with the police and sent her a court order for divorce. My misery had touched its lower depths.

Drinking became uncontrollable. And with that problems began cropping up in my work place. There were four cases against me in the Katappana court itself. I had to dispose of all my property to carry on with the legal proceedings. Totally broken in spirit, there was no option but to commit suicide. It was at this time that a brother named Thomas, advised me to go to Potta for a retreat. There I would find a remedy for every trouble, he said. I did not case to believe him. But there came a situation which obliged me to go into hiding. This prompted me to take refuge in Divine Retreat Centre (DRC) as a hideout. This was in 1994 November.

For two days I found the atmosphere insufferable. Deprived of drinks, the fits of shivering recurred.

With a heart full of anger and hatred towards everyone, I stood dozing, leaning against a pillar in the auditorium. Fr. Augustine Vallooran was giving his discourse on family life.

Suddenly a voice spoke into my ears. "Come now, let us argue it out", says the Lord, "though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be like snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; but if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken" (Is. 1:18-20).

This word of God touched me to the core of my being. It was the beginning of my conversion. I began to weep and pray. "Lord, I am not worthy to stand before you. I am a sinner, I am weak, wretched. Yet, I pray in your name, I ask that my broken married life may be set right. Do not punish me Lord. Pardon me whatever I did in my ignorance". From that moment onwards, hope began reviving in my heart.

As soon as the retreat was over, I went to see my wife and admitted all my faults. She was willing to attend a retreat. Together we made our way to DRC. God overwhelmed us with blessings and repaired our shattered marriage. Finally we surrendered our mutual hostility and all our court cases into the hands of our Lord and returned home with hands clasped in love.

Hostility faced us everywhere on our return. But we, who had discovered the living God, remained steadfast in our faith and accepted Jesus as our Savior and Lord. The Lord blessed us tenfold to make up for all our losses. It was a daily growth in faith. We ardently longed to receive his Body and Blood. In 1995 November, we received Baptism and are now living happily with our children, Sunishmon and Sumimol. It is our joy and pride to live for Jesus as best as we can.

You led me from darkness to light and changed my mourning into dancing! Jesus, thank you !

Praise the Lord !

K. G. Unnikrishnan (Joseph)
Kollarath House, Kanjiyar P.O.
Puzhikandam, Idukki, Kerala, India.